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9 February, 2016 20:11

February 9, 2016


Dear Counselor

My fiancé is extremely controlling. He insists that everything be done His way or else. I’ve tried to reason with Him, explaining that He should listen to my opinions once in a while, but He simply tells me to submit. I’m getting tired of not having a say in things. I recently read an article by a well know writer giving four reasons for divorce. One of the reasons was a controlling spouse. While the writer never gave any scriptural support to back his reasoning I find myself in full agreement with him.

This control has been going on ever since we first met. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. He acts as though He’s a King and His will is the only thing that matters. I know He really loves me and has my best interests at heart but why can’t He let me do things my way once in awhile? What should I do?

Signed Christian

Dear Christian

You should have been aware of this when you first met your King. Whoever introduced you to Him should have told you what to expect from a relationship with Him. You realize His Kingdom would never stand if everyone insisted in doing their own thing and going their own way?

Some people consider the matter of submission a type of persecution but I prefer to look at it as protection. If He really loves you the way He says He does then you should be the happiest person in the world. I can’t think of a better relationship than that of being loved and letting your King make all the decisions. I seem to remember a verse I learned in Sunday School years ago that went something like, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.”

Hey! Who knows. He may be testing you to see if you qualify to be a joint heir with Him one day.

Signed The Counselor

Dear Counselor

I recently read your letter from Christian. I guess it struck a nerve. You see I’m a King also, but my problem is my wife to be. When we first met she was constantly telling me how much she loved me. She was always cheerful and happy and would often break out in song telling me how great I was. If I ever needed her to help me she was always more than willing and eager but lately she seems to be more interested in doing her own thing. The fact is she barely speaks to me anymore which makes me concerned as to whether she even loves me. I’ve done everything I can to make her happy but never hear a word of thanks for it.

I’m beginning to believe she is having an affair with a former friend of hers. I say that because she keeps talking about all the things her friend promises to give her. Whenever she mentions her friend she lights up and seems to come alive. I found out her old friend is named ‘world’. His nickname I understand is flesh.

I don’t know how much longer we can go on pretending things are OK when they are anything but. I still really love her and simply want to have that first love relationship again. What should I do?

Signed The King.

Dear King

I’m so sorry to hear about the way your future bride is treating you. While I believe you have every right to break off the engagement especially when adultery is involved, I would plead with you to hold off a little and give her some more time. Hopefully your bride to be will see the folly of her ways and turn from this former lover and repent. I know how painful it must be to see the one you love being seduced by ‘world.’ I’ve heard about your incredible patience and longsuffering and know that it will pay off for you soon. I believe your goodness will eventually bring her to repentance. Please hang in there a little longer. I’ll keep her in my prayers, believing one day you will have that glorious bride that you have always wanted.

Signed Counselor

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Dale Schmucker permalink
    February 10, 2016 4:16 am

    Thank you…that’s so true!

  2. Audrey permalink
    February 20, 2016 12:04 pm

    How sad that we can’t see how good we have it in Christ. I am in constant prayer that the King may have a bride worthy of him. Would that all roads let back to him, but unfortunately there is a chasm and if we end up on the wrong side, there is no crossing over.

  3. March 7, 2016 10:49 am

    This was really good, David. 🙂

  4. Rebecca Hill permalink
    May 28, 2016 9:27 pm

    Wow! What a great analogy.

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